My totally unscientific election poll

So I went to early voting today.  This was actually my third attempt at voting early.  The miscues were as follows:

Attempt 1:  Whole family went to the library and we thought we might as well vote while we were there.  Line was only maybe 20-30 minutes long, but Kate forgot her ID and we decided to do it later.

Attempt 2:  Went to the library yesterday.  Waited about an hour.  With 1 1/2 hours to go before the voting closed at that location a super bitchy poll worker plopped a chair down about five people in front of me and announced that no one behind that chair would be allowed to vote.  She declared that the poll workers were leaving at 5 pm no matter what, that they estimated they could get through 60 people before then, and that she’d counted off 60 people and put the chair behind them.  Someone told her the newspaper said anyone in line at closing time would get to vote.  The correct answer, of course, is that the polls would stay open on election day, not necessarily during early voting.  Bitchy poll worker lady’s response was “I don’t care what the newspaper says, it only matters what I say and I say those poll workers are leaving at 5 on the dot!”  Person #61 in the line said her ride wouldn’t be back yet for another hour and I think was starting to ask if she could wait just in case they finished on time, but the poll worker lady cut her off with a terse “too bad” and turned away.  I think she even did the talk-to-the-hand motion and everything.

Well, between my job and school I really don’t have time to vote Tuesday, so today was my last chance.  Early voting is closed at the library locations, so I dragged myself down to the Civic Center complex late in the morning.  Parking lot:  not that full.  Nice.  Exterior of building:  appears to be less busy than any normal day.  Signs indicate early voting is in room 214 on the second floor.  No line has started snaking its way down the stairs.  Hey, maybe this won’t be too bad!  Open the big heavy doors from the stairwell into the hallway.  WHOA.  Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of people are packed into that little hallway.  A woman from work who is standing nearby waves hello and says she has been there for an hour already.  She is maybe 40 people in front of where the line ends, and says that’s approximately the point that she started out at too.  Grrrrrrrreeeat.

I started out listening to podcasts, but most of my regular shows post early in the week so I only had a couple to get through before I ran out.  After a while I made a game of guessing who people were voting for.  It was surprisingly easy.  Of course I can’t know for sure, but I think I fared pretty well.  Here are some of my favorites:

Large group of hip looking college students who got up and left one-by-one after waiting a half hour or so.  Conclusion: mostly if not all Obama

Two middle aged men in crisply ironed polo shirts and pleated khakis who looked at each other, smiled, and said “That’s encouraging” when all the Obama college kids were giving up on voting.  Conclusion: McCain

Women who desperately needed conditioner grading a stack of 3rd grade childrens’ test papers focusing on math and Bible knowledge (!).  So, gotta be a teacher at a Christian private school then.  Noticed that lots of 3rd graders, at least half of this class of 20 or so, confused “saints” with “Holy Spirit”.  Big orange X for them.  The state of Christian education is in dire straits indeed.  Conclusion:  McCain

Early 20′s guy with big scruffy beard, thick black plastic framed glasses, and comically oversized Obama button.  Seriously, it was like the size of an outdoor trash can lid.  Conclusion:  Obama

Slightly balding middle aged man wearing a t-shirt with a picture of the Ten Commandments and “Take two tablets and call me in the morning.  –God” printed underneath.  Conclusion:  McCain

Woman who was the spitting image of Tootie from The Facts of Life, wearing a t-shirt with Obama’s face framed by portraits of Nelson Mandela and Martin Luther King Jr.  I halfway expected her to be wearing rollerskates, but she wasn’t.  Found myself slightly disappointed at that.  Conclusion:  Obama.  Pretty sure I got this one right.

Smartly dressed woman in her 30′s, reading Slate on her iPhone and drinking coffee.  Seriously.  I’m not even kidding.  She was like a walking advertisement for stuffwhitepeoplelike.com.  Conclusion:  Obama

At least four separate African American women who danced a little jig after exiting the clerk’s office where the voting machines were located.  Conclusion:  Obama

Guy in patriotic T-shirt with a gigantic American flag and text that had something to do with terrorists, I couldn’t quite make the whole thing out.  Did he have an American flag handkerchief?  He might have.  Conclusion:  McCain

Woman dressed up like Sarah Palin.  Someone should really tell her Halloween was yesterday.  Conclusion:  McCain

Hippie with dreads and a full length beard wearing a fedora.  That’s kind of strange.  I spent several minutes pondering if his fedora contained hemp, and if so in what proportion.  Conclusion:  Obama.

Grim looking greying male who kept complaining about the government the whole time.  Conclusion:  Bob Barr

Two women in their late 20′s wearing scrubs with pictures of dogs and cats on them.  Possibly veterinary assistants?  Conclusion:  Too close to call. Spent a considerable amount of time trying to figure them out to no avail.

Attractive young woman around 20 who is volunteering for Obama on Tuesday and whose parents brought her McDonalds in line.  Conclusion:  Obviously Obama.  However, her parents clearly voted for McCain.  It was awkward and a little touching as their conflicting politics intermingled for their love for their daughter.

Crazy lady who kept giving me dirty looks for no reason.  Conclusion:  Hilary Clinton (write-in)

Woman with glasses on a chain and frazzled grey hair who smelled like a vegan and worried about electronic voting machines that switch votes.  Conclusion:  Obama.

Very optimistic older gentleman behind me who kept telling everyone the line was moving faster than he expected, and hilariously underestimating our remaining wait time.  He was off by literally hours.  Conclusion:  Probably McCain.

Conclusion of my impromptu, completely unscientific election poll:  Obama wins!

In the end it took me just over four hours to vote, not counting the time I spent waiting in line during the first two aborted attempts.  My feet hurt, my throat is parched and scratchy and not quite over a recent sickness, and I have a headache.  But I am also inspired.  I am inspired and humbled by all those people, regardless of political affiliation, who gave up an entire Saturday afternoon to do something they felt was important for their country.  There were no tempers flaring and no competing factions breaking out into impromptu debates and surprisingly little complaining about the long wait.  There were just a bunch of Americans from all walks of life hanging out together and patiently waiting to play their own small part.

I’ve got Ace Frehley, I’ve got Peter Criss, Waiting There For Me

Warning Twitter people:  this post is very, VERY Evansville centric.  If you don’t either live in Evansville or have not formerly lived in Evansville, back away slowly.  Trust me.

So it’s Fall Festival week here on the West Side of Evansville, a place where at any hour of the day or night you will be guaranteed to eat something strange either fried or dipped in chocolate (or both), run into someone you know (probably either the Waeldes or us), and see copious amounts of luxurious mullets. The West Side has a distinct flavor, whether it be the hairstyles, the food, or (especially) the music.

So in honor of the Fall Festival and the fact that I’ve been playing a ton of Rock Band 2 lately, I present to you an Evansville West Side playlist of songs that ought to be in Rock Band. Grab your Nut Club straw cowboy hat and your brain sandwich and let’s rock out like it’s 1982! Evansvillians, make your suggestions for additional songs in the comments!

REO Speedwagon- Keep On Loving You
Gin Blossoms- Hey Jealousy
Gin Blossoms- Found Out About You
Gin Blossoms- Till I Hear It From You (Evansville loves the Gin Blossoms!)
Kid Rock- Bawitdaba
Bon Jovi- It’s My Life
Rick Springfield- Jessie’s Girl
Mike Harvey’s Freedom Festival Sock Hop setlist (comprised of The Beatles “Twist and Shout”, something by Elvis, and “Why Do Fools Fall in Love” by Frankie Lymon)
Terry Cashman- Talkin’ Softball (this one is a little obscure. Kate’s brother Ed will almost certainly get it. That’s a hint for the rest of you who know him.)
Kiss- Lick It Up (note the choice of song from the non-face paint era. We are always a little bit off from the rest of the country)
Blaster the Rocketboy- Vac-u-suck (Coffeehouse Kids represent!)
Lee Greenwood- God Bless the USA (You know you can picture some weepy eyed rednecks waving their American flag handkerchiefs [see previous blog] and singing along at Mesker Amphitheater)
Theme song from Batman TV series (According to his autobiography, the lowest point in Adam West’s career was getting shot out of a cannon at the Hadi Shrine circus in Evansville. Stop and think about that for a second. We represent the lowest point in Adam West’s entire career.
The Queers- Granola Head (a strange anamoly. This somewhat respected punk band is quite popular in Evansville. Of course, their heyday was about 15 years ago, so maybe that’s why. Upon reflection, yes, that’s why. Everything 15 years old is new again when you’re west of Fulton Avenue!)
Five Iron Frenzy- The Phantom Mullet (an epic song for an epic West Side hairdo)
Journey- Don’t Stop Believin’
Styx- Come Sail Away
Mock Orange- East Side Song (we’ll forgive them for writing it about that side of town, because I happen to like them and they are from the River City after all).

Help me out, name some more songs that make you think of the West Side kids!

Team American, eff yeah!

So yesterday I stopped at a gas station.  While standing inside waiting in line to pay, a charming gentlemen approached the line and loudly boasted “How do you like that?!”

After a few awkward moments I realized he was directly addressing me.  I am always surprised to find anyone directly addressing me ever (unless it is a member of my immediate family or perhaps a co-worker), so naturally I was taken aback.

“Pardon me?” I responded.

“How do you like my patriotic handkerchief?” he exclaimed, and proudly held out the evidence for me to examine.  And indeed it was a thing to behold:  a bold, bright, red-white-and-blue American flag handkerchief.

How was I to respond?  On one hand, the gentleman was clearly fiercely proud of his handkerchief.  On the other hand, my inner smart ass felt compelled to point out that he was blowing his nose on an American flag, and that didn’t seem especially patriotic to me.  I have vague recollections from my Boy Scout days of how to handle the flag, and I’m almost positive using it as a booger rag was not on the list.  In the end, I did what I almost always do in these situations, which is to smile and nod and hope that will conclude the exchange.

But of course, that wasn’t the end of it, because for whatever reason guys who approach strangers in gas stations to brag about patriotic handkerchiefs are completely lacking in social graces radar, and are perfectly willing to plunge headlong through the smile and nod deflection.  Now positively bursting with pride, he informed me that he was doing his laundry at his apartment complex when another guy in the laundry room left this handkerchief behind by accident, so he swiped it before the guy came back.

Smile.  Nod.  Get me out of here.

I confess, I am not an especially patriotic person.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I live in a free country, but I also don’t exactly break down in tears when Lee Greenwood belts out “God Bless The USA” either.  It’s a list song, I can’t help it.  I’m biased against songs that are just lists of things.  But that is a story for another day.  What I’m trying to get at is this:  What would compel a person to think that stealing someone else’s American flag laundry and then blowing their nose on it encompasses grade A patriotic American go team rah rah values?

In case anyone is reading this (which is certainly not a given considering I haven’t blogged in about 18 months) I welcome your comments and ideas on this situation.  But I will probably smile and nod.

Man, do I ever love Firefox

I just recently got into Greasemonkey. If you aren’t familiar, Greasemonkey is a Firefox extension that lets you add custom scripts to websites. At its most basic, you can do something like this:

Here, Google Video has had some simple color layout changes. You can write your own scripts, or you can download and install ones from a variety of sites out there, most notably userscripts.org. You can also download the code for the scripts and tweak them yourself if you’re so inclined. Or, of course, you can write your own from scratch.

But enough about all that. I just ran across a Greasemonkey script called LookItUp. LookItUp literally is changing the way I use the web in a way that few Firefox extensions have before (and believe me, I love Firefox extensions fiercely, to the point that I have difficulty using a browser that doesn’t have some of my favorite extensions installed). If I come across a stray word or topic that I’m not familiar with or would just like to know more about, I can simply highlight a word and hit “w”. A sidebar appears on the right side of the screen with the Wikipedia entry for that word (if there is one, of course.) No need to even use the search bar or open a new tab; the script opens Wikipedia up within the webpage I’m already on, and I can read both at once side-by-side. Both frames are fully functional; I can independently scroll within them and all links are active in both. When you’re done, you just click outside the Wikipedia frame and it disappears. You can easily customize the script to utilize other sites if you wish and trigger them with any key you wish. I’ve already mapped dictionary.com to “d” as well, for times when I might need a word’s definition rather than information related to it. Here’s a screen:

Sweet!

I read entirely too much

You can tell you read too much when you make a crack at work about the size of the text in that smaller edition of the Oxford English Dictionary. You know, not the huge 35-whatever volume one that only libraries can afford, but the one that contains the full text at about 0.3 point font. The one where you need a magnifying glass to read anything. I got a pity laugh, but I don’t think anybody really got it. Oh well.

I need better jokes.

Genesis

I’m reading Madeleine L’Engle’s Genesis Trilogy right now. It’s comprised of three books she wrote in the 1980′s: And It Was Good, A Stone For A Pillow, and Sold Into Egypt. Unfortunately it appears that all three books are out of print, both separately and in the collected format I’m reading. I really just happened upon it by accident, but I’m grateful I did.

This woman’s writing just floors me. I read my share of dense, difficult to read books. I hardly ever read fiction at all. But every now and then it’s nice to step back and take in something infinitely readable, even poetic. The thing that amazes me about L’Engle is her ability to convey meaningful spiritual analysis while retaining a smooth, readable prose. I tore through most of And It Was Good in an evening, and yet I feel I got more out of it than just about any other book I’ve read in the last year. That, to me, is pretty impressive.

For whatever reason this is the first time I’ve gotten around to reading any of L’Engle’s work. I expect it will not be the last.

First

Here I go, trying the blog thing again. Let’s see if it sticks this time.